It’s easier to wake up to a world that isn’t trying to kill me.
It’s been extremely difficult to recover from my mental illness these last four years. All the progress I make inside my head is stunted severely by the knowledge that if it were up to my government – my “representatives” – I would suffer from a disorder that’s not my fault, and I’d be denied medical care on the basis of my income and my gender. I can only heal so much in a society that’s sick.
“What’s the point in trying?” has been playing on repeat in my mind since 2015. It feels like nothing I do matters in the face of a world that’s falling apart. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of feeling paranoid, but it’s impossible when the people running my country really do hate me.
But yesterday, the trajectory changed. Fascism may still hold the reins – but not for long. A change of direction is coming for people like me who struggle with mental health, as well as for all the other underprivileged people in this country. Just knowing the power shift will happen soon is a huge source of strength. It’s true that we have a Nazi president right now, but the difference between yesterday and today is what the future will look like. Plague and poverty are still the law of the land, and it will take enormous efforts to reverse that. But now we can have hope. The difference between yesterday and today is I have hope.
It was a tough few days there. Well it’s been tough years. After what the Boston Police did to my daughter, I couldn’t get away from the photograph (it’s still up on some online timelines). My husband and I took to making sure Jonathan Daniels grave had some simple flowers, and now simple evergreens. It wasn’t much, we did a lot more, but…when I thought T was going to win, I cried and cried as I felt there would never be any justice for her. Now.. I like this Bible quote (hey, let’s say the story of my believing has been covered by a certain astronomer. “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes the past 4 years must have seemed like hell and beyond. I have followed my friends from here in Australia as they ‘resisted’ and finally overcame tyranny. There is much to do for social justice even when the tyrant has gone and it will take many, many years to put right the devastation and cruelty he and his crime family have inflicted. Keep your head up Zoe and take each day as it comes. The future is yours and your voice is needed.
LikeLiked by 2 people