It's hard to go to sleep happy when when you know the world might be ending inside your head when you wake up. As I write this, it's past midnight and my body is begging me to rest. I've been busy all day for the first time in a while, packing up my things as… Continue reading I Don’t Want To Sleep (When I Might Wake Up Depressed)

I’ve lived in Boulder, Colorado for ten years. There are many things to love about this town, most of which are the direct result of how open-minded the people are. They’re typically very caring, liberal, and free-spirited. They also believe a lot of bullshit. It seems as if the average person has crystals that "channel… Continue reading The Tragic Distraction of Faith-Based Science

Recently, in a Q&A with my readers, I was asked, "What's the greatest challenge you face every day?" I was immediately intrigued by the question, because I tend to think about my struggles with mental illness on a sliding scale, not in absolutes. So instead of thinking about a particular problem as the "greatest" challenge… Continue reading The Hardest Part of Being Depressed

Everyone I know has been noticing that I’m doing better. And not just because I’ve been saying it out loud. It’s a lot more subtle than that in many ways. It’s sketched all over my face, written into my actions, and generally transmitted from my very being: I’m okay. Please understand the gravity of my… Continue reading Doing Better

*To help support this blog and get unique, personalized articles from me, check out my Patreon here! Seven Challenges of Late-Stage Depression Fatigue, feeling hopeless, lack of motivation, and changes in sleep and diet - these are some of the problems that can be observed from the earliest days of many depressive episodes. However, after… Continue reading Seven Challenges of Late-Stage Depression

As it turns out, I don't respond to psychiatric medication. I've tried dozens of mood-lifting pills in the past decade, and none of them has consistently worked. Those that do create any beneficial effect usually only do so mildly, and they wear off in a matter of weeks, leaving me just as despondent as I… Continue reading Treating Medication-Resistant Depression

*Trigger warning: Mild wrist-cutting. Note: Though masochism plays an important role in this story, I won't analyze it too deeply here, because it's beside the point of this article. I'll save that for other essays, like this one. ... This is a recounting of the disrespectful and ignorant way I was treated by supposed medical… Continue reading Medical Doctors Need Better Mental Health Education

*Note: In this article, I write that psychiatric drugs have never worked well for me. However, I'm an unusual case: they do work for most people. In no way do I wish to condone that anyone stop taking pills that they have been prescribed, nor do I want to deter anyone from seeking relief from psychiatric drugs… Continue reading The Emotional Burn Victim