There are a lot of subtleties involved in growing up with a psychiatric illness that don't often get talked about. The news covers cases of severe psychosis when a violently ill person ends up in jail; the most apparent symptoms of depression (the "common cold" of mental illness) are gathering more and more attention on… Continue reading Miss Misery Mission Statement: Shatter the silence around mental illness.
As someone who has had many severe symptoms of borderline personality disorder for more than a decade, I know that there is no simple "trick" for creating easy conversation between someone who suffers from this disease and their loved ones. The illness presents many obstacles to good communication, all of which can only be overcome… Continue reading Why is it so hard to communicate with Borderline Personality Disorder?
When I was 12 or 13, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar II disorder. That label followed me through all of middle and high school. It determined which meds I was put on, and just as importantly, which meds I wasn't put on. It factored heavily into how my talk therapists treated me. And, especially because I was… Continue reading Your Treatment Is More Important Than Your Doctor’s Ego
I recently had a heartbreaking conversation about the American federal food assistance program. It was asserted to me quite confidently that when someone who “actually earned their money” is in line behind a poor person at the grocery store, they shouldn’t have to wait for the cashier to count out each individual food stamp with… Continue reading No, Being Too Poor to Eat Is Not a Privilege
The other night, my boyfriend and I had an interesting conversation about the best ways to escape from a bout of depression. He told me that he usually has to make changes to his environment to improve his mood when it's sliding downhill, because his problems tend to stem from his surroundings. "When I'm honest… Continue reading Internal Vs. External Depression
I'm an obsessive person. Usually, when I say those words to someone, I have to watch their face scrunch up in discomfort as they go through a mental checklist of all the stereotypes they associate with obsessive people. They think we're creepy and immature. They expect us to stalk celebrities, keep inappropriate collections of gross… Continue reading Obsession, Infatuation, and Fandom
I recently finished a three-month course of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) to treat my extremely stubborn depressive disorder. The process required me to make a few minor lifestyle changes: I couldn't drive or drink alcohol, and I had to fast in a very specific way the day before each of my 19 appointments. Fortunately, though, all… Continue reading Electroconvulsive Therapy and Memory Loss
It's hard to go to sleep happy when when you know the world might be ending inside your head when you wake up. As I write this, it's past midnight and my body is begging me to rest. I've been busy all day for the first time in a while, packing up my things as… Continue reading I Don’t Want To Sleep (When I Might Wake Up Depressed)
Before we dive into this blog post, I want to provide a quick update. I just had my last electroconvulsive treatment (hopefully!), and I'm now in the recovery stage. Things are going to be rocky for a while - at least two months, maybe longer, because that's the average time it takes for ECT patients'… Continue reading The Only Real Way to Apologize
Just hear me out. Sometimes, if you're extremely lucky, you find something so wonderful and pure, so unapologetically cheerful, so transcendentally beautiful that it changes your life forever and you have no choice but to let it influence all of your major decisions. For me, that thing is the '90s TV godsend, Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's… Continue reading I’m (Potentially) Moving to Minnesota Because of a Puppet Show