I’ve lived in Boulder, Colorado for ten years. There are many things to love about this town, most of which are the direct result of how open-minded the people are. They’re typically very caring, liberal, and free-spirited. They also believe a lot of bullshit. It seems as if the average person has crystals that "channel… Continue reading The Tragic Distraction of Faith-Based Science

Recently, in a Q&A with my readers, I was asked, "What's the greatest challenge you face every day?" I was immediately intrigued by the question, because I tend to think about my struggles with mental illness on a sliding scale, not in absolutes. So instead of thinking about a particular problem as the "greatest" challenge… Continue reading The Hardest Part of Being Depressed

Everyone I know has been noticing that I’m doing better. And not just because I’ve been saying it out loud. It’s a lot more subtle than that in many ways. It’s sketched all over my face, written into my actions, and generally transmitted from my very being: I’m okay. Please understand the gravity of my… Continue reading Doing Better

*To help support this blog and get unique, personalized articles from me, check out my Patreon here! Seven Challenges of Late-Stage Depression Fatigue, feeling hopeless, lack of motivation, and changes in sleep and diet - these are some of the problems that can be observed from the earliest days of many depressive episodes. However, after… Continue reading Seven Challenges of Late-Stage Depression

As it turns out, I don't respond to psychiatric medication. I've tried dozens of mood-lifting pills in the past decade, and none of them has consistently worked. Those that do create any beneficial effect usually only do so mildly, and they wear off in a matter of weeks, leaving me just as despondent as I… Continue reading Treating Medication-Resistant Depression

*Trigger warning: Mild wrist-cutting. Note: Though masochism plays an important role in this story, I won't analyze it too deeply here, because it's beside the point of this article. I'll save that for other essays, like this one. ... This is a recounting of the disrespectful and ignorant way I was treated by supposed medical… Continue reading Medical Doctors Need Better Mental Health Education

*Note: In this article, I write that psychiatric drugs have never worked well for me. However, I'm an unusual case: they do work for most people. In no way do I wish to condone that anyone stop taking pills that they have been prescribed, nor do I want to deter anyone from seeking relief from psychiatric drugs… Continue reading The Emotional Burn Victim

In my last post, "Normal: Part One", I described my teenage lifestyle as a stubborn, gothic young woman with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder and, unsurprisingly, deep depression and anger problems. I explained my seething hatred for anything that could be considered "normal", because my emotional experience of the world was so diseased and unusual that… Continue reading Normal: Part Two

When I was 12, my worst fear was being normal. I was the token goth girl who dressed in nothing but purple and black every day, whether I was going to school, the grocery store, or a family dinner. I exasperated family members by dressing this way on literally every occasion. The goth style reflected the way… Continue reading Normal: Part One