It's hard to go to sleep happy when when you know the world might be ending inside your head when you wake up. As I write this, it's past midnight and my body is begging me to rest. I've been busy all day for the first time in a while, packing up my things as… Continue reading I Don’t Want To Sleep (When I Might Wake Up Depressed)
The Only Real Way to Apologize
Before we dive into this blog post, I want to provide a quick update. I just had my last electroconvulsive treatment (hopefully!), and I'm now in the recovery stage. Things are going to be rocky for a while - at least two months, maybe longer, because that's the average time it takes for ECT patients'… Continue reading The Only Real Way to Apologize
I’m (Potentially) Moving to Minnesota Because of a Puppet Show
Just hear me out. Sometimes, if you're extremely lucky, you find something so wonderful and pure, so unapologetically cheerful, so transcendentally beautiful that it changes your life forever and you have no choice but to let it influence all of your major decisions. For me, that thing is the '90s TV godsend, Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's… Continue reading I’m (Potentially) Moving to Minnesota Because of a Puppet Show
The Tragic Distraction of Faith-Based Science
I’ve lived in Boulder, Colorado for ten years. There are many things to love about this town, most of which are the direct result of how open-minded the people are. They’re typically very caring, liberal, and free-spirited. They also believe a lot of bullshit. It seems as if the average person has crystals that "channel… Continue reading The Tragic Distraction of Faith-Based Science
Earthworms/Childhood Insanity
I've heard many different arguments about when and how people with borderline personality disorder initially develop symptoms. Is the illness so thoroughly genetic that indicators of it can be observed from birth? Or do those diseased genes have to be triggered by an event or series of events that occurs when the child is a… Continue reading Earthworms/Childhood Insanity
The Hardest Part of Being Depressed
Recently, in a Q&A with my readers, I was asked, "What's the greatest challenge you face every day?" I was immediately intrigued by the question, because I tend to think about my struggles with mental illness on a sliding scale, not in absolutes. So instead of thinking about a particular problem as the "greatest" challenge… Continue reading The Hardest Part of Being Depressed
Doing Better
Everyone I know has been noticing that I’m doing better. And not just because I’ve been saying it out loud. It’s a lot more subtle than that in many ways. It’s sketched all over my face, written into my actions, and generally transmitted from my very being: I’m okay. Please understand the gravity of my… Continue reading Doing Better
